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Quote from Jason in Chidi's Choice

Jason: Number five is number one. Number seven is number two. Number three and number four are tied for number three.
Tahani: What are you talking about?
Jason: I'm ranking my favorite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me.
Tahani: No, it isn't. You could tell me your real name, for starters.
Jason: My name is Jason Mendoza. I'm from Florida. And I'm a professional amateur DJ.
Tahani: And is, uh, that a family member?
Jason: I wish. That's Ariana Grande, the sexiest woman alive.
Tahani: You wish that you were related to a woman you want to have sex with. You know what? It'd be one thing if you just weren't a Buddhist monk, but you're barely even a regular, functioning person. How did you get here?
Jason: I don't know, but, please, dawg, you can't tell Michael about me.
Tahani: You have some nerve asking me for favors when you have spent weeks deceiving me, making a fool out of me, and bringing snack food into my house. Disgusting.
Jason: Oh, Ariana, we're really in it now.

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