Rose Quote #895
Quote from Rose in If at Last You Do Succeed
Blanche: OK, Rose, here they are. Here are the bonds. Dorothy, I want to thank you for helping me buy $25,000 worth of peace of mind.
Rose: Oh, Blanche, thank you. I just got off the phone with the city fathers of St. Olaf, and it's been unanimously decided they are going to build a statue to Blanche Devereaux right in the middle of Mrs. Olsen Square.
Blanche: A statue. Oh, my. Is it going to be a big one?
Rose: Hey! St. Olaf license plates don't say "Big Statue Country" for nothing.
Blanche: Ooh! Well, all right, that does it. You're all my witnesses. [tears up the bonds]
Rose: Oh, speech! Speech!
Dorothy: Wait, wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If St. Olaf is flat broke, how are they going to pay for this statue?
Rose: Every penny comes out of the $500,000 Emergency Statue Fund.
Blanche: $500,000?
Rose: Oh, but you can't touch that fund unless it's a real statue emergency.
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘If at Last You Do Succeed’ Quotes
Quote from Rose
Rose: That's a St. Olaf war bond. Charlie bought us those in '42. I didn't realize I still had those.
Blanche: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that St. Olaf printed its own war bonds?
Rose: Yes. Oh, we were very patriotic. In late '42, we wanted to fund the development of a top-secret weapon that we were sure would end the war. Attack cows.
Blanche: Take me now, Lord.
Rose: No one expects trouble from a cow. The plan was, we would drop these highly trained killer cows behind the enemy lines. It wasn't till they were airborne that we realized a cow can't pull a rip cord. Well, the project wasn't a total failure. If there's one thing the Germans hate, it's a mess.
Quote from Rose
Rose: I know what it's like to trust somebody who's betrayed you. You're not gonna believe this, but I have a St.
Olaf story about this.
Dorothy: I believe you. I just hate you.
Rose: Well, Gunilla Bjorndunker, St. Olaf's tallest woman - of course, nobody ever made fun of her for that. Anyway, when Old Space Needle was in high school she drank some cherry herring and made love in the backseat of a Fjord Fjairlane. Local car. And she got in trouble, if you know what I mean, Dorothy. Knukendup und schvingle.
Sophia: She knows what you mean.
Rose: Anyway, her boyfriend, Yutz Hernsberg, St. Olaf's only bald high school student, had to marry her.
Blanche: But why would she marry a guy like that?
Dorothy: Because I was young. I- I'm sorry- I'm sorry, Rose. This is your story. Go- Go on. Go on.
Rose: Well, anyway, after 38 years of marriage and a painful divorce, he finally came back, having invented Hernsberg's Press-on Warts.
Dorothy: Who bought those?
Rose: Hags, mostly. Don't you see? He was successful and he wanted Gunilla back.
Dorothy: Well, what happened to her, Rose?
Rose: Skylab fell on her.
Dorothy: What is the point of this story?!
Rose: Be thankful for your health.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Here, Pussycat, taste this.
Dorothy: Ooh! Ma! [groans]
Sophia: "Bring to a near boil." Perfect.
Dorothy: Ma, I could've burned my lips! What are you doing?
Sophia: My eyesight is going, so I like a prank I can hear.