Beverly: Earl, are you aware that the athletes in this school get treated better than all the other kids?
Principal Ball: I can explain that. They are better.
Beverly: Because they're all strong and coordinated?
Principal Ball: Not just that. There's also a swagger.
Beverly: Well, this changes now. I demand that all the kids who are not as gifted athletically be treated the same as the jocks.
Principal Ball: But then how will they learn that they're not as good?
Beverly: They are as good, Earl. And they deserve the rose-kissy thing, too.
Principal Ball: The what-zit now?
Beverly: When all the athletes fawn all over their mothers in front of the whole school? I want that for me. I mean, you know, for all the other kids.
Principal Ball: But no one cares about their ho-hum achievements.
Beverly: Then I'm just gonna have to invoke Title Nine.
Principal Ball: What, the law that prevents sex discrimination in schools?
Beverly: Then Title Eight. Or Ten.
Principal Ball: Darn my weakness for vague threats.