Virginia Kremp: Why don't you seduce him with home-cooked meals and baked goods?
Beverly: Or... Essie actually seduces him.
Essie Karp: Excuse me, now?
Beverly: Come on, you're single and ready to mangle. Let's fix your hair and makeup and send you over there.
Essie Karp: What's wrong with my hair and makeup?
Erica: Mom, I shouldn't have to say this again, but sending your friends to do adult favors is no way to get a house.
Beverly: Do you have any better ideas?
Geoff: Ooh, write a letter. That's what my parents did when they bought their house.
Linda Schwartz: Lou and I wrote a note that was so moving and heartfelt that the nice, old lady wept in my arms.
Beverly: Of course. A heartfelt letter. Oh. But instead of Geoff's stupid idea, we'll do my thing. Kids, follow me.
Geoff: I'm insulted, but along for the ride.