Murray: It was the Ottoman Empire first.
Formica Mike: Yeah, but then I bought half the empire, and I turned it into more of a kingdom. And kingdoms are better than empires.
Murray: What are you talking about? Empires are better than kingdoms.
Vic: Empires are sovereign states controlled by a single supreme authority.
Formica Mike: Yeah, but everybody wants to be a king.
Vic: That's true. King me, baby.
Murray: Empires control vast territories.
Vic: Point for Murray. The original Ottoman Empire controlled Europe, Asia, and Africa for centuries.
Murray: Ha!
Vic: It was, uh, ultimately defeated by the United Kingdom.
Formica Mike: Ha back at ya!
Murray: Why don't you know this much about end tables?
Formica Mike: And there you have it. The lips stay. Long live the king!