Carlton Quote #418

Quote from Carlton in Three's a Crowd

Carlton: It's too dark to signal with that mirror, Will, you might as well put it down.
Will: I've been trying to for, like, a half hour.
Carlton: Will, I want you to eat me. If I die first. You can stay alive by using my body for nourishment. Incidentally, the buttocks has the most meat.
Will: God, I hope I go first.


 ‘Three's a Crowd’ Quotes

Quote from Philip

Ashley: Daddy, isn't it great about Hilary? When do you think I'll get to move out?
Philip: Oh. Sweetheart, you know expressions like "when hell freezes over"? "When the cows come home"? "When donkeys fly"? Pick one.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Will, you remember when we first started coming up here?
Will: Uh... Yeah, it was a weekend, wasn't it? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I remember now. This place is always fly, man.
Carlton: Well, if you think today was fun, wait till you see what I got planned for the rest of the evening. After we power down our cocoas, there's a complimentary luge lesson. Followed by supper at 7, then back to the room for some hot spiced cider and a Barbara Walters Special.
Will: Now, normally, I would ditch you on that last one but, uh, I'm gonna let you in on a little something. Ever since I was like 7, I had a mad crush on Barbara Walters.
Carlton: I thought I was the only one. How do you feel about Nancy Reagan?
Will: Oh, see now you're being just sick.

 Carlton Banks Quotes

Quote from Just Say Yo

Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

Quote from The Alma Matter

Carlton: It's not unusual To have dad be proud of me It's not unusual 'Cause I love conformity And when I see dad hangin' with Will instead of me It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Tom Jones: It's not unusual to mess up at any time And when I see you so down and out It's such a crime
Carlton: Did you ever wanna be loved by anyone And then you let them down I blew it yesterday My trust fund's gone away
Tom Jones: My friend it happens all the time And life will never do
Carlton: What you want it to
Tom Jones: Don't give yourself Such a hard time