Lady Penelope: Oh, I thought the old buzzard would never leave. Will, got a smoke?
Will: Excuse me?
Lady Penelope: Cigarette. I've been dying for a cigarette all day.
Will: No, I don't have any cigarettes. I don't smoke and you shouldn't either. It's bad for you.
Lady Penelope: Oh, sod off, mother superior.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. Don't nobody call me a mother nothing. And what's up with you? Who are you, Dr. Jekyll and Patty Duke?
Lady Penelope: Will, don't be such a wanker. I only put on that innocent schoolgirl routine for the old man.
Will: Routine? You've been lying to the Lord?
Lady Penelope: Whenever we go to the city, I tell my father that I'm dying to go to the opera knowing full well he detests it. That way, I can hit the clubs, and I thought we'd go downtown to the Meat Hook.
Will: The Meat Hook? That's the roughest bar in L.A.
Lady Penelope: Super. That's what Lady Cicely told me. Let's go.