Fez: Okay, here I go. I'm here for my test. Where do I sign in? Or should I say, "Where do I put my John Hancock?" [chuckles] Actually, I would sign my name. That's just the common expression. I know so much history, I just drop it into everyday conversation.
INS Worker: There is no test. I just need to see that you are who you say you are and that you're in the country to be with your wife, Laurie Forman.
Fez: No test? So, that's it? I'm truly really a citizen of this great country?
INS Worker: Just as soon as I stamp this paper.
Fez: Oh, this is great. You and I should go celebrate. Let's start off with a couple of drinks and some lovemaking and see where it goes from there.
INS Worker: I don't date married men.
Fez: Well, let's just say that as soon as I get my green card, I will be single. Then you can explore the country of Fez.
INS Worker: Hold on, are you telling me your marriage is a sham?
Fez: I'm telling you your eyes are like amber waves of green.
INS Worker: You do realize I haven't stamped this yet?
Fez: Actually, I had not.