Kitty: I feel terrible. I think it's the flu.
Eric: Okay, now is this the real flu or the Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante flu?
Kitty: Now I'm gonna miss Tom Jones this afternoon, and I wanted his autograph so badly. Red, I was thinking maybe...
Red: No.
Kitty: You know, if you were sick and Joe DiMaggio was signing footballs, I'd get an autograph for you.
Eric: Mom, Joe DiMaggio played baseball. That'd be like me saying G.I. Joe has a karate grip. What a nerd I'd be.