Jonah Quote #50
Quote from Jonah in Color Wars
Adam: I should use that in one of my videos.
Jonah: Your, uh... what videos?
Adam: I do these... these grilling videos on YouTube. It's not a... it's not a big deal or anything.
Jonah: Sounds like a big deal to me.
Adam: I got nine subscribers.
Jonah: What?
Adam: I don't even know three of them.
Jonah: Wow. Total strangers.
Adam: Yeah.
Jonah: That's, uh... I guess, then, one could say you almost need this.
Adam: Yeah, maybe, maybe. Let me run it by my wife. I think she's around here somewhere, and I'll...
Jonah: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Come on. Uh, let's not... [clears throat] Let's not bring a lady into this, right? This is guy stuff... You know, grills, football, cars, porn.
Adam: Yeah, I'll just... I'll, uh... I'll call her.
Jonah: Yeah, all right.
Superstore Quotes
‘Color Wars’ Quotes
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: Trust me, you don't want the RX 5. The Vilano Forza's the way to go.
Man: The RX 5 got five spokes on RoadPro, and it's half the price.
Garrett: Mm, okay.
Man: What's that mean?
Garrett: [sighs] Look, man, I used to own the 5, okay? And it was good... till the pedals came loose when I was crossing a busy street. [gestures to his legs]
Man: Oh, I... Oh, I'm sorry.
Garrett: But, hey, you know what? I like to focus on the positive. I'll ring you up for the RX-5.
Man: Actually, let's go with the Vilano.
Garrett: [chuckles] Hell, yeah! And let's get you one of these fancy racer helmets too. "I wish I had a better helmet" was my first full sentence when they taught me how to speak again.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [to a customer] "I wish I would've bought a Vitamix" was the first thing I said when I woke up from my coma. Could save your life, man.
Jonah: How exactly did a non Vitamix blender put you in a coma?
Garrett: That's a very offensive question to ask a disabled person.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers, we'd like to welcome the members of our Second Chances Program in the gold T-shirts. If you'd prefer to work with someone who hasn't committed a violent crime, our red-shirted employees will be more than happy to help out. Yes, the Cloud 9 Second Chances Program... 'cause knowledge is worth 100 bucks.