Kramer Quote #1001
Quote from Kramer in The Slicer
Kramer: This hallway smells like potatoes.
Elaine: I know, I know, this is it.
Kramer: Okay. Oh, you see this socket it's probably connected to her apartment. So what we'll do, we'll take this paper clip and bend it so it'll short out the entire circuit. Here you go...
Elaine: I think I'll let you do it.
Kramer: No, no, no. It's easy, you just... Do it quickly.
Elaine: No, I really don't want to.
Kramer: Well, I don't want to either.
Elaine: I thought you'd done this before.
Kramer: Oh, I have. It's just... It's no picnic.
Elaine: Well, how are we gonna do it?
Kramer: All right, fine fine, I'll do it. [Kramer licks the paper clip and sticks it in the power socket. Kramer twitches on the floor as electricity buzzes and the lights go out.] Oh, mama!
Elaine: Are you okay?
Kramer: I'm gonna lose that nail.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Slicer’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: ...and then when I saw the photo I remembered where I'd seen him. The boom box incident.
Jerry: The boom box incident?
George: Summer of '89, I'm at the beach. This family sets up next to me. I go in to the surf. When I come from out, my clothes, my towel, my umbrella, they're all gone. I am furious, I start screaming to these kids demanding my stuff back and finally I lose it; I grab their boom box and I chuck it in to the ocean.
Jerry: Seems reasonable.
George: Then I see my clothes floating out there. The tide took them out, not the kids.
Jerry: Even more reasonable.
George: So now, the father is screaming at me, he's demanding that I pay for the boom box. Finally, I gave them a fake address and got the hell out of there.
Jerry: And that guy is your new boss?
George: Until that stupid photo jogs his memory.
Quote from George
Clerk: Here you go, airbrushed in to sand and sky.
George: What did you do here? You took out the wrong guy.
Clerk: I thought you said you wanted to be out?
George: Well, I'm still here. You took out the other guy!
Clerk: You've really lost a lot of hair.
George: I am aware!
Quote from George
Kruger: George, come in. I'm just going over our annual report. Boy, did we take it on the chin last year.
George: Listen, Mr. Kruger, I got a message from Dr. Van Nostrand and he says it might be wise to you to see another doctor about that mole.
Kruger: I'm not too worried about it.
George: Well, he said it could be cancerous. Maybe you should get it checked out.
Kruger: George, take a look at this photo. This was taken 10 years ago. That mole looks exactly as it does today. So, there's no cause for concern, huh?
George: Whatever.
Kruger: Actually, funny thing about this photo. We were at the beach and there was this dumb looking guy near by. When he went in for a swim, my sons and I took all his stuff and threw it in the ocean! What a pear-shaped loser.
George: Well, that pear-shaped loser was me! And I was in that photo, until I broke in here, stole the photograph and airbrushed myself out of it.
Kruger: Well, I'll be. You have lost a lot of hair.
George: That's what they tell me!