Kramer Quote #708
Maestro: And now, Gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I must prepare for the symphony.
Kramer: Oh, yeah?
[When The Maestro gets up from behind his desk, he isn't wearing any pants.]
Maestro: Oh, my pants. [starts to put on nearby pair of pants] It's an old conductor's trick I learned from Leonard Bernstein.
Maestro: You keep a perfect crease by not sitting in them before the performance.
Kramer: That's good thinking.
Quote from Frank Costanza
Elaine: You know, the photo I took in Tuscany of the little man in front of the sign that said "Costanza"?
Frank Costanza: There's a Costanza in Tuscany? Did he look like me? Did you talk to him?
Elaine: I didn't talk to anyone. I was just walking by, and I saw the sign, and I thought George might get a kick out of it.
Frank Costanza: I gotta get that picture. It could be my cousin, Carlo.
Elaine: Who is that?
George: When the Costanzas came here, one brother stayed behind.
Frank Costanza: I played with his son every day until the age of four. And then we separated.
Elaine: So, you weren't born here?
Frank Costanza: No. That's why I can never be president. It always irked me. That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics. I refuse to vote. [shouts] They don't want me, I don't want them!
Quote from George
Doll: [Estelle's voice] Georgie! Don't eat with your hands! Why do you eat so fast?! You can't even taste it!
George: Don't tell me how to eat!
Doll: You're wearing that shirt? You've had it for five years already! Why don't you buy a new shirt?!
George: Because I like this one! [gets up, grabs the doll] Come on, let's go. Let's go!
[As George gets up to leave, he runs into Deena, the woman who thought he was having a break down.]
George: Oh, hi. [exits]
Deena: [to Ruthie, the cashier] That man should really be in a sanitarium.
Quote from The Package
Jerry: So we're going to make the post office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer: It's a write-off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write-off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Quote from The Pool Guy
Kramer: [answers phone] Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. Brought to you by The New York Times and Hot 97. Coming to theaters this Friday: Kevin Bacon, Susan Sarandon, "You've got to get me over that mountain!" "No!" [bang, bang] "Argh" There is no place higher than... Mountain High. Rated R. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press 1.
Elaine: Kramer, is that you?
Elaine: Uh, what time does Chow Fun start?
Kramer: I don't know.