Kramer Quote #593

Quote from Kramer in The Fusilli Jerry

Jerry: Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"?
George: Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.
Jerry: It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. It could be just some guy with a big ass.
Kramer: Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.
Jerry: Yeah. Proctologist.
George: Come on! No doctor would put that on his car.
Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million-to-one shot, Doc. Million-to-one."

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 ‘The Fusilli Jerry’ Quotes

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Yeah, I'm here to pick up my new plates. My name is Kramer. Cosmo Kramer.
Clerk: Kramer. [checks computer] All right.
Kramer: All righty.
Clerk: Sign right here, please.
Kramer: Okay. [The clerk hands him a manila envelope]. Thanks. [opens the envelope] Assman? Oh, no, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman. I think there's been a mistake.
Clerk: What's your name again?
Kramer: Cosmo Kramer.
Clerk: [checks computer again] Cosmo Kramer. You are the Assman.
Kramer: No! I'm not the Assman.
Clerk: Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are.

Quote from Kramer

George: So, did you get your new plates?
Kramer: Oh, yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates.
George: What do they say?
Kramer: Assman.
Jerry: Assman?
Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!

Quote from George

George: An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job.
Estelle Costanza: Georgie, I'm a divorcee.
George: No, you're not a divorcee. You're just separated. You're- You're a separatee.
Estelle Costanza: Well, I'm out there, George.
George: No, you're not out there.
Estelle Costanza: I am, too!
George: You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!