Jerry Quote #761
Jerry: Hey, Joe.
Joe: How is it going?
Jerry: Good, just getting some fruit for myself. Gotta have fruit in the house. I like it as a snack. Wholesome, natural, chock-full of vitamins. All right, let's see. Mangoes. Four plums with red on the inside. Avocado. Ooh, just right. And three plantains ought to do it.
Joe: All right. All right, just hold it right there.
Jerry: What?
Joe: This fruit isn't for you.
Jerry: What? What are you talking about?
Joe: You think I don't know, huh? Mangoes, plantains, plums with the red on the inside, that's Kramer!
Jerry: I can't buy mangoes and plantains?
Joe: All right, get out!
Jerry: You're making a big mistake, Joe!
Joe: I'll tell you something else: I don't what your business anymore either.
Jerry: Are you saying you're banning me from the store?
Joe: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Jerry: I'm banned?!
Joe: You're banned.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Mango’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Well, you know, we had a fight over the peach and... Well, Joe doesn't want my business.
George: Hey, was that a joke about Houdini?
Jerry: No. [to Kramer] I told you not to say anything.
Kramer: Jerry, what am I gonna do for fruit?
Jerry: Well, you'll have to go to the supermarket.
Kramer: The supermarket? That's impossible! They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the Papayas! Jerry, you gotta go to Joe's, you gotta get me some fruit!
Quote from George
George: It's all your fault! You and Elaine! All that orgasm talk. She did have an orgasm, she didn't have an orgasm. Orgasm this, orgasm that. I got so focused on it. I started to panic and boom, I lost it. I tried everything, I was talking to him. "Please wake up, do something."
Jerry: They're mysterious little fellows aren't they?
George: I hate 'em!
Jerry: You know, it happens to everybody. It happened to Houdini. And he could get out of a trunk under water with his hands in chains! But he had a problem with that. The miracle is that it ever happens.
George: It's like a magic trick. Sometimes I think it would be easier to bend a spoon mentally than to make that transformation.
Quote from George
George: I don't know. Last time I got the tap.
Jerry: You got the tap?
George: You know, you're going along, you think everything's all right and all of a sudden you get that tap. [George taps his own shoulder]. You know it's like, "[whistles] All right, that's enough. You're through."
Jerry: The tap is tough.
George: It's like the manager coming out and asking you for the ball.
Jerry: Well, maybe she just wanted to move on to other business.
George: No, no, this wasn't moving on. I got the hook. I wish I could get a lesson in that.
Jerry: It's a very complicated area.
George: You can go crazy trying to figure that place out.
Jerry: It's a hazy mystery.