Jerry Quote #425

Quote from Jerry in The Good Samaritan

Jerry: Anyway, this person told me to tell you to get an estimate on the damage.
Becky: Well, I already got an estimate. It's $875.
Jerry: $875?
Becky: That's right.
Jerry: Uh. Well, I'll tell you what. Um, I'll give you a check, and then this person can pay me back. Uh, who do I make it out to?
Becky: Becky Gelke. G-E-L-K-E.
Jerry: So, what are you doing this weekend? [hands check to Becky]
Becky: You have got some nerve! You smash up my car, you don't admit it, and now you want to ask me out on a date?
Jerry: I didn't do it!
Becky: Yeah righ- [Becky sneezes]
Jerry: You are so good looking.
Becky: [closes door] Thank you.

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 ‘The Good Samaritan’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Well, I would say the concept between the car phone, and the phone machine, the speakerphone, the airline phone, portable phone, the pay phone, the cordless phone, the multiline phone, the phone pager, the call waiting, call forwarding, call conferencing, speed dialing, direct dialing, and the redialing, is that we all have absolutely nothing to say, and we've got to talk to someone about it right now. Cannot wait another second. I mean, come on. You're at home, you're on the phone. You're in the car, you're making calls. You get to work, "Any messages for me?" You gotta give people a chance to miss you a little.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: What does it mean anyway? "God bless you". It's a stupid 'stuperstition'.
Jerry: A stupid what?
Elaine: Whatever.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: A man is paralyzed, mentally, by a beautiful woman. Advertisers really take advantage of this. Don't you love those ads where you see, like, the woman in the bikini next to the 32-piece ratchet set, you know, and she's... You know, we'll be looking at the girl in the bikini, and looking at the ratchet set going, "All right, well if she's right next to the ratchet set, and I had that ratchet set... I wonder if that would mean that... I better just buy that ratchet set."