Jerry Quote #324
Quote from Jerry in The Stranded
Jerry: Who is it?
Steve: [o.s.] Mr. Pocatello.
Jerry: Who?
Steve: You mean you don't recognize my voice? [Jerry opens the door] Jerry, baby!
Jerry: Do I know you?
Steve: Boy, this comedy's really frying your brain.
Jerry: I'm sorry, uh-
Steve: See, this is the kind of lasting impression I make on people.
Jerry: Oh, okay.
Steve: You said if I was ever in the city, I'm in the city.
Jerry: You certainly are. What's going on?
Steve: I'm just waiting for a lift back to the island. He won't be ready until eleven, so I figured I'd give you a break. I thought I'd see what it was like to hang out with someone in show business.
Jerry: Listen, I'm really sorry but I'm just on my way out to meet a friend.
Steve: Oh, come on. You can come up with something better than that.
Jerry: No, really, I just got off the phone with him.
Steve: I understand.
Jerry: Look, you can hang out here if you want.
Steve: Don't be so enthusiastic.
Jerry: No, it's-
Steve: I'm not gonna steal anything.
Jerry: No, of course not, just close the door when you leave.
Steve: I think I can do that.
Jerry: Really, I'm sorry. Maybe another time.
Steve: Yeah. Let's have lunch.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Stranded’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: So I was in the drug store the other day, trying to get a cold medication. You ever try and pick one of these out? It's not easy. It's a wall. It's an entire wall of cold medication, you stand there, you're going, "All right, all right, all right, okay, what the hell am I...? This is quick-acting, but this is long-lasting. When do I need to feel good, now or later?" It's a tough question. And they always show you the commercials on TV where they show you what's wrong with the guy, you know? And they always show you, like, all the problems that he's having. First of all, the always show you the human body, which is usually this guy. No face, mouth open... This is how drug companies see the public. And he's always in, like, a certain pain. It's like red wavy lines are going through him or he's glowing. Parts of him are on fire sometimes. Lightning is attacking him. I never had a doctor say to me, "Are you having any pain?" "Yes, I am." "Are you having any lightning with the pain?"
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: There's two types of favors, the big favor and the small favor. You can measure the size of the favor by the pause that a person takes after they ask you to "do me a favor." Small favor, small pause. "Can you do me a favor, hand me that pencil?" No pause at all. Big favors are, "Could you do me a favor..."