Jerry Quote #1460
Quote from Jerry in The Bizarro Jerry
Kramer: Jerry. Hey, Jerry?
Jerry: I'm right here. [Kramer flicks the lights on] You're late.
Kramer: Yeah, well, I got held up, you know. What happened to your hand?
Jerry: Like you care.
Kramer: Work piled up, I lost track of the time.
Jerry: Oh, sure. Sure. You and your work. Elaine's off in the Bizarro World, George only calls when he wants something, and I'm left sitting here like this chicken. Which, by the way, was for two.
Kramer: What? You cooked?
Jerry: I ordered in. It's still effort.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bizarro Jerry’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Breakfast. I gotta be in at Brandt-Leland by 9.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I'm working there, that's why.
Jerry: How long have I been asleep? What year is it?
Kramer: Look, Jerry, I don't know if you've noticed, but lately I've been drifting aimlessly.
Jerry: Now that you mention it...
Kramer: But I finally realized what's missing in my life. Structure. And at Brandt-Leland, I'm getting things done. And I love the people I'm working with.
Jerry: How much are they paying you?
Kramer: No, no, no. I don't want any pay. I'm doing this just for me.
Jerry: Clearly. So, what do you do down there all day?
Kramer: TCB. You know, taking care of business. I gotta go. I'll see you tonight. Forget my briefcase.
Jerry: Well, what do you got in there?
Kramer: Crackers.
Quote from George
Jerry: All right, how about this? Let's say you're abducted by aliens.
George: Fine.
Jerry: They haul you aboard the mothership, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now, would you rather be in their zoo or their circus?
George: I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.
Jerry: In the circus, you get to ride on the train, see the whole planet.
George: I'm wearing a little hat. I'm jumping through fire. Putting their little alien heads in my mouth.
Jerry: At least it's show business.
George: Yeah. But in the zoo, you know, they might put a woman in there with me... to, you know, get me to mate.
Jerry: What if she's got no interest in you?
George: Then I'm pretty much where I am right now. Just got to take a ride on a spaceship.
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: I had to ask Kevin to leave his office and come and pick me up.
Jerry: Well, what are friends for?
Elaine: Yes. And he is a friend, Jerry. He's reliable, he's considerate, he's like your exact opposite.
Jerry: So he's Bizarro Jerry.
Elaine: Bizarro Jerry?
Jerry: Yeah, like Bizarro Superman. Superman's exact opposite who lives in the backwards Bizarro World. Up is down, down is up. He says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
Elaine: Shouldn't he say "badbye"? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?
Jerry: No, it's still goodbye.
Elaine: Does he live underwater?
Jerry: No.
Elaine: Is he black?
Jerry: Look, just forget the whole thing, all right?