Jerry Quote #1196
Quote from Jerry in The Fusilli Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The worst part about a car breaking down is when you're out on the road and you're a guy. Because now you have to get out and pretend like you know what you're doing. You gotta go, "All right, honey, I'm gonna go check it out." Walk around the front, open up the hood. That's good, 'cause it obscures her view. That's the main reason you want to do that. You're looking in there, you know. You're hoping you're going to see something in there so simple, so obvious, so incredibly easy to fix, even you can handle it. Like a giant on/off switch turned off.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Fusilli Jerry’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Yeah, I'm here to pick up my new plates. My name is Kramer. Cosmo Kramer.
Clerk: Kramer. [checks computer] All right.
Kramer: All righty.
Clerk: Sign right here, please.
Kramer: Okay. [The clerk hands him a manila envelope]. Thanks. [opens the envelope] Assman? Oh, no, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman. I think there's been a mistake.
Clerk: What's your name again?
Kramer: Cosmo Kramer.
Clerk: [checks computer again] Cosmo Kramer. You are the Assman.
Kramer: No! I'm not the Assman.
Clerk: Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are.
Quote from Kramer
George: So, did you get your new plates?
Kramer: Oh, yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates.
George: What do they say?
Kramer: Assman.
Jerry: Assman?
Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!
Quote from George
George: An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job.
Estelle Costanza: Georgie, I'm a divorcee.
George: No, you're not a divorcee. You're just separated. You're- You're a separatee.
Estelle Costanza: Well, I'm out there, George.
George: No, you're not out there.
Estelle Costanza: I am, too!
George: You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!