[stand-up:]
Jerry: The dating world is not a fun world. It's a pressure world, it's a world of tension, it's a world of pain. And you know, if a woman comes over to my house, I gotta get that bathroom ready, 'cause she needs things. Women need equipment. I don't know what they need. I know I don't have it, I know that. You know what they need, women seem to need a lot of cotton balls. This has always has been one of the amazing things to me. I have no cotton balls. We're all human beings, what is the story? I've never had one. I've never bought one, I've never needed one. I've never been in a situation, when I thought to myself: "I could use a cotton ball right now. I can certainly get out of this mess." Women need them and they don't need one or two, they need thousands of them, they need bags. They're like peat-moss bags. Have you ever seen these giant bags? They're huge and two days later, they're out. They're gone. The bag is empty. Where are the cotton-balls, ladies? What are you doing with them? The only time I ever see'em is in the bottom of your little waste basket, there's two or three that look like they've been through some horrible experience. Tortured, interrogated, I don't know what happened to them. I once went out with a girl who's left a little zip-lock-baggy of cotton balls over my house. I don't know what to do with them, I took them out, I put them on my kitchen floor like little tumbleweeds. I thought maybe the cockroaches would see it, figure this is a dead town. "Let's move on." The dating world is a world of pressure. Let's face it, a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job-interview is not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. You know, "Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position, why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be workin' with?".