Elliot: I'm so sorry that they're forcing you out. I feel horrible.
Dr. Kelso: Aw, sweetheart, you should. It's your fault.
Elliot: Look, I'll talk to the Board. I am so great at changing people's minds. My best friend in college thought he was gay, but I totally convinced him that he was into women. After that, he had a ton of girlfriends. Until senior year when he hung himself.
Dr. Kelso: Why is it that so many of your stories end with, "And then he hung himself"?
Elliot: Bad luck, I guess.