Janitor: How depressing is it being you? Seriously. Would you equate it more to being a lifelong Cub fan, or to, say, being born without lips?
J.D.: Born without lips.
Janitor: I know a guy. His house just burned down.
J.D.: How sad.
Janitor: Well, he was smoking in bed. He shouldn't smoke, 'cause he looks ridiculous. "I have a snake face."