J.D.: Well, Dan, what can I say. It's been, uh, three days.
Dan: Two days.
J.D.: Feels like three. But, uh, say hi to Wayne, and good luck in the bumper pool tournament.
Dan: Yeah, actually, J.D., I don't think I'm leaving.
J.D.: Why!?
Dan: Well, 'cause I'm worried about you. I mean, hanging with you today and watching you work, with the gomer talk and all the attitude now, I'm not so sure I like the guy you're turning into. It's definitely not my little brother.
J.D.: You know what, Dan, once Dad left and Mom started marrying everyone that rang the doorbell, I remember someone saying how lucky I was to have an older brother. But you never came through for me once, did you. I mean, I called you for help because I'm in love with a girl who's in love with someone else, and you responded by showing up here, drinking all my Baileys Irish Cream, and whining about Mom's new boyfriend. You are a self-involved user, Dan. And you wanna tell me what kind of person to be? I tell you what, instead, why don't you just get the hell out of my life?
Dan: But we're brothers. That counts for something, right?
J.D.: Not to me.