Quote from Patrick in The M.V.P.
David: What time did you need me to show up to watch you play the baseball? Patrick: Well, as of right now, there you might not be anything for you to watch. David: Oh? Patrick: Gwen dropped out. Apparently she has to go see a friend she met on the internet, so we are missing a right fielder. David: Can you play both parts? Patrick: Positions. And, no. That's the whole problem. We will forfeit the game if we can't come up with a ninth player.