April Quote #7

Quote from April in Pawnee Zoo

April: Hey. This is my boyfriend, Derek, and this is Derek's boyfriend, Ben.
Ben: Hi.
Leslie Knope: Hey. Oh! Wait, sorry, what's the situation?
April: What do you mean?
Leslie Knope: How does this work?
April: Derek is gay, but he's straight for me, but he's gay for Ben, and Ben's really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben.
Derek: It's not that complicated.
Ben: No.


 ‘Pawnee Zoo’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ron Swanson: Okay, here's the situation.
Leslie Knope: Your parents went away on a week's vacation. They left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Would they mind? Mm... Well, of course not. [rapping] I'll just take it for a little spin And maybe show it off to a couple of friends I'll just cruise around the neighborhood. Well, maybe I shouldn't Yeah! Of course I should Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot Pulled up to the corner at the end of my block That's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walking I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking Sunroof was open, the music was high And that girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car I can't believe it! I made a mistake But parents are the same No matter time nor place So to all you kids all across the land No need to argue Parents just don't understand [cheers and applause] Thank you. Thank you. Just a little something I know. So, what's up?
Ron Swanson: Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park. They need you to get down there right away.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Jerry: Hey, Leslie, some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie Knope: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron Swanson: Yeah. The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie Knope: The Bulge is a gay bar? Uh, the nights I've wasted there.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I've been spending the summer doing a lot of zoo promotions. Parrots live a very long time. So we had a birthday party for a parrot that turned 60. Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. And they like to fling their feces, so we were hoping that they would fling their hats. But they just flung their feces. The Pawnee Zoo recently purchased two South African black-footed penguins, Tux and Flipper. And as part of our zoo promotion, we are going to give them a marriage ceremony, because they mate for life.