Chris: Good morning. After an all-night strategy session, the towns of Pawnee and Eagleton have come up with a potential solution to Eagleton's budget crisis.
Leslie Knope: The town of Eagleton will be dissolved and re-absorbed into Pawnee. [exclamations]
Pawnee will provide some government services, as well as taking on some of Eagleton's debts. [murmuring, commotion] I understand. Look, I hate Eagletonians as much as you do. I hate their stupid beautiful faces and their stupid shiny hair.
Chris: We looked at every alternative. This is the only scenario that prevents Eagleton's financial crisis from spiraling throughout the entire region.
Chance Frenlm: Eagleton is terrible! Why should I bail them out with the hard-earned money from my unemployment check?
All: Yeah!
Leslie Knope: Because they are our neighbor and they've sprained their ankle. And when your neighbor sprains his ankle, you help him off the court. I understand you have concerns and questions, and we are here to listen to them.