Leslie Knope: "You blew it." "Super hard." "Complete buffoonery." "It's hilarious." And "You deserve it."
Ben: Hey, you think you might wanna take it easy on them a little bit?
Leslie Knope: Oh, like they took it easy on us when they stole all our money and seceded from our town?
Ben: That was 200 years ago. Cool it.
Leslie Knope: Fine. I'll skip ahead.
Ingrid de Forest: Do you have a plan that will help us or not? We have borrowed absolutely everything we can from the state. And really, Pawnee is our only hope.
Leslie Knope: We do have a plan. We are willing to provide a bridge loan for $50,000. 25% interest compounded monthly. And you need to release a statement that says that Pawnee rules and Eagleton drools.
Ingrid de Forest: Well, now you're just being nasty. I understand that our towns have a complicated history, but we have a saying in Eagleton... "You don't kick a dressage horse after a failed pas de deux."
Leslie Knope: Whatever, blondie. Your butler made your bed, now you gotta lie in it. And if you walk out that door, none of us here, and I repeat, none of us will ever help you again.
Chris: Oh, my God. They have Michael Buble on retainer.