Leslie Knope: "Two days ago, I attended an informal boys' club meeting for the very first time. After one and a half beers, awash in the glow of acceptance into this elite, exclusive club..."
Phil: Sorry, what club is this?
Ron Swanson: A couple city planners like to drink beer in the courtyard on Tuesday nights.
Phil: No one is supposed to drink alcohol on government property.
Ron Swanson: That's not my department. Go ahead, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: "I made a very unwise decision. A decision that will live in infamy. I opened a gift basket of wine and cheese. [long pause] Our intern, April Ludgate, drank some of that wine without my knowledge. That was never part of the plan. She had not been invited to the meeting of the boys' club. I repeat, not been invited. Though it is my hope that someday, she lives in a world where the very idea of boys' clubs is ancient history."
Phil: But you did open the gift basket. And the intern did drink the wine.
Leslie Knope: [pounds the table] Please don't blame her for my mistake. The biggest crime we could commit here would be to destroy a teenage girl's passion for local government.