Ann: Actually, Ron, I-I could use your advice on how to be blunt and honest. I want my friend to do something for me, and I don't know how to ask him.
Ron Swanson: What do you want him to do?
Ann: Plant ficuses. In my front yard.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Grossest metaphor ever.
[back:]
Ron Swanson: I've seen your house. You'd have more success if he planted ficuses in your backyard.
Ann: No, I don't think so.
Ann: Anyway, what if he thinks I'm asking too much of him, and I ask him to plant the ficuses, and he doesn't want to, and he gets weird about it, and it ruins our friendship?
Ron Swanson: Then plant the damn ficuses yourself.
Ann: [guffaws] I wish that were possible.