Lance: Mr. Haverford, on the morning of your crash were you alone in your car?
Tom: Yes. Your Honor, this was an accident. Plain and simple. I don't want to put words in your mouth but... case dismissed.
Lance: And you were texting at the time, correct?
Tom: How dare you, sir? I was tweeting.
Lance: Please, read Exhibit C, the transcript of your Twitter page leading upto and immediately following crash.
Tom: "9:15. Four green lights in a row. #blessed" "9:17. Drive faster, blue Civic. Daaaaaamn. #soccermoms" "9:18. Gotta pass this lady on the 'ejkerkj'." That's when I hit the fire hydrant. Sorry, allegedly hit the fire hydrant. "9:20. Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #unbreakable. #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays? #whynosequel?"