April: Hey. Good morning.
Ron Swanson: Why are there six people outside who say they're waiting to meet with me?
April: So you know how you love me because you haven't had a single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant? That's because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.
Ron Swanson: Why?
April: Because I didn't think March 31st existed. [sings] 30 days has September, April, March, and November
Ron Swanson: June and November. Today is March 31st.
April: I know.