Dave Sanderson: Your friend, he acted like an ass. And you got to believe me, he didn't give me a choice.
Leslie Knope: Your name's Dave, right? Can I call you Dave?
Dave Sanderson: My mother likes David, but I'm pretty split on it 50-50.
Leslie Knope: Hate to break it to you, Dave. You really stepped in it.
Dave Sanderson: What?
Leslie Knope: I'm a government employee, David, and so is your prisoner. If I wanted to, I could get on the horn, and I could have Ron Swanson down here, kicking down your doors. Yeah, that's right. You heard me. Ron Swanson.
Dave Sanderson: What branch of government are you in?
Leslie Knope: Parks and Recreation.
Dave Sanderson: Parks and Recreation?
Leslie Knope: Yes. Do I stutter?