Jess: [over video chat] All right. I'm ready to taste cakes.
Schmidt: Okay, great.
Jess: This is gonna be fun.
Schmidt: I'm sorry, fun? Baking scones with Winston is fun. This is serious, Jess.
Jess: Mmm! Soft and sweet.
Schmidt: What a relief it's not hard and salty. How is the nose? Does it have a clean finish, or would you say it's a long cake? Describe the cake's legs in terms of mouth feel.
Jess: Bro, I spent two hours at the chair place. You picked nothing. You negotiated with the florist until all three of us were crying.
Schmidt: Let's start again and put the camera close to the frosting. And for God's sakes, please, be mindful of your friggin' shadow.