Schmidt Quote #1035
Jess: [over video chat] All right. I'm ready to taste cakes.
Schmidt: Okay, great.
Jess: This is gonna be fun.
Schmidt: I'm sorry, fun? Baking scones with Winston is fun. This is serious, Jess.
Jess: Mmm! Soft and sweet.
Schmidt: What a relief it's not hard and salty. How is the nose? Does it have a clean finish, or would you say it's a long cake? Describe the cake's legs in terms of mouth feel.
Jess: Bro, I spent two hours at the chair place. You picked nothing. You negotiated with the florist until all three of us were crying.
Schmidt: Let's start again and put the camera close to the frosting. And for God's sakes, please, be mindful of your friggin' shadow.
New Girl Quotes
‘D-Day’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Are you okay? You look gray.
Schmidt: I didn't sleep. I was up preparing for an epic day of wedding decisions. I'm calling it D-Day. Of course, in this situation, the "D" stands for "decisions," and unlike the other D-Day, it will not be a walk on the beach.
Jess: That's incredibly offensive.
Schmidt: I know.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Ah. Jess, thank you. You know, I haven't had two hours of uninterrupted sleep since a month ago when Cece made me watch An Inconvenient Truth.
Quote from Schmidt
Cece: Hey, guys. So, how did it go today?
Jess: Good. We got a lot accomplished. But, um... how do I say this? Um... I made out with Schmidt's dad.
Cece: [quietly] You did what?
Schmidt: She lulled me to sleep and then went rogue.
Cece: You did what?
Jess: If your files had been clearly marked, none of this would be happening. You need better labels.
Schmidt: Everything is perfectly clear. Chairs are color-coded under chartreuse, because it sounds like "chair truths." Salmon mongers are filed under fuchsia, because I "re-fuchsia" to serve salmon at this wedding. The groomsmen tuxes are under magenta, because "ma-gentlemen" will be wearing the dope tuxes.
Cece: Is he a good kisser?
Schmidt: Don't ask that, plea... And don't you answer it.
Cece: [stammers] It's withdrawn. I'm just freaking out right now.