Winston: Well, I understand. You know, I've never told anyone this, but, um... I don't know how to read a ruler. I don't, I mean, how do you start? At the edge or the first tick? It's confusing to me.
Nick: Are you serious?
Schmidt: Do you know how to count?
Winston: It always gets on top of me, and I can't...
Schmidt: 'Cause then you should know how to use a ruler, you idiot!
Winston: I'm an idiot? You can't even wash your own underwear, you dumbass.