Schmidt: Do you really think that she's gonna have sex with you in that pulp-covered filth bunker?
Nick: I'll throw a tarp down.
Gina: Oh, God.
Schmidt: What if she's turned off by the mess? What if she's turned off by... What if she's turned off by the mess? Hey, Gina, why don't you hear me out here for a second.
Gina: That's all right.
Schmidt: If Nick cleans his room before Brittany comes over, he might get laid.
Nick: I don't know. It seems like a lot of work.
Schmidt: Not with the right tool. [hands him a sponge] We open up on a modern man with a nose that only America could love.
Nick: This might seem obvious, but what side does the dirty stuff go on?
Schmidt: He doesn't know a lot, but he's about to discover the ultimate wingman.
Nick: I bet this side is really good for tough areas.
Schmidt: The Man Sponge. Because the dirtiest thing in your room...
Nick: Probably be her. Yay. We're doing a pitch.
Schmidt: Yeah.