Schmidt: If only there were some sort of pipe and... and water expert that we could hire to come and fix this problem.
Nick: Yeah, I can't afford a plumber.
Schmidt: A plumber! That's what it's called!
Nick: You really want to do this? You want to have this fight with me? You want to go down this path, Schmidt?
Schmidt: I don't know, is this a path that you recently fixed?
Nick: It's called self-reliance. 'Cause unlike you, Schmidt, I don't just throw my money at problems.
Schmidt: All I'm hearing is that I can't use my bathroom because you're poor. Look, it's your lucky day, buddy. I'm gonna pay for the plumber.
Nick: No, Schmidt, I don't want your charity.
Schmidt: Well, you seem very happy using my emergency tools.
Nick: Oh, yeah? Do you even know what this is?
Schmidt: Doy, it's a scissor.
Nick: Yeah, that's exactly right. [throws it in the toilet] A scissor. Really, Schmidt?
Schmidt: Yeah, a scissors that you just threw in the turdlet.