Jess: As a symbolic gesture, Reagan cannot list the loft as her official residence.
Nick: Where will her mail go?
Jess: A P.O. Box.
Nick: Oh, yeah. All right, keep going.
Jess: When asked where you live, you and Reagan will say the following. "Geez, beats us. We're just dumb kids living paycheck to paycheck. Thank gosh for our upwardly mobile friends Schmidt and Cece, and the three guest rooms in their loft. We're crashing with them until we get our lives together and we remain there at their pleasure."
Nick: Do I have to memorize all that?
Jess: No, you can just read it from the toilet paper. [Nick sighs] And finally... you will allow Schmidt to buy you one pair of jeans. Oh, he's serious.