Coach: Why you guys dressed up all nice? Huh? Talking all polite and stuff. What-What's going on?
Nick: Oh, we're just here for the culture and, uh, the spectacle of it all.
Coach: Really?
Nick: And to make you look like a stupid piece of crap for thinking we'd be an embarrassment to you.
Coach: I'm patting you down.
Nick: Hey. I'm an American citizen. I request a female if you're gonna do that.