Jess: Who was I supposed to talk to, Nick? Every time I tried to talk to you about your penis problems, you went to move your car.
Nick: Those aren't penis problems. What is- Did you talk to Winston about my penis problems? What about Cece, did she get a call?
Jess: He wasn't around. Schmidt told me he had a PhD in Nickology.
Nick: He doesn't. There's no such-
Jess: We have to talk about our feelings 'cause we're together.
Nick: If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called "talkings."