Adrian Monk Quote #520
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to Jail
Dale Biederbeck: You help me, I'll help you. One hand washes the other. Now, there's a metaphor I know you can relate to. As you know, a man was murdered in here last night. Soon, the police, who are not as imaginative as you, will begin to focus on me. I had a motive. The young man owed me $1,200.
Adrian Monk: You wouldn't kill anyone for $1,200.
Dale Biederbeck: Well, you know that, but they don't. They've already questioned me twice. Here's my problem. As you can see, I have, uh, become accustomed to a certain standard of living in here. And until this case is solved, things are gonna be very difficult for me. For example, they were supposed to install a window in that wall, right there, so I could watch the sun set. I assume the sun still sets every evening. Adrian Monk, I want my window! Get me my window.
Adrian Monk: How?
Dale Biederbeck: Stay here. Solve the case.
Sharona: Forget about it. We're not gonna work for you, and we never will. Right? Right?
Adrian Monk: In exchange for what?
Dale Biederbeck: What you want, Adrian. What you need information. You solve this murder, and I tell you everything I know about the man who killed your wife.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Here. How about this? I'll pat myself down.
Guard: You're gonna pat yourself down?
Adrian Monk: I'm an honest man. I'm an ex-cop. You can trust me.
Guard: You're an ex-cop?
[Monk starts patting himself down. He pauses briefly to see the unimpressed reaction of the guard. As he resumes, he feels something in his own pocket]
Adrian Monk: Wait. Wait, wait. What's this? Oh, hey, hold on a second. What is this? Nail clippers? Where do I think I'm goin' with these? Can't bring that in here. I'll get these back when I leave.
Sharona: [to the guard] Thank you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Nazi Inmate #1: I haven't beaten up a white boy in a long time.
Nazi Inmate #2: It'll come back to you. It's like ridin' a bike.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Excuse me. [reorients the inmate's Swastika pin] You'll thank me later.
Nazi Inmate #1: This is gonna be fun.
Adrian Monk: Okay, but before the fun, you might wanna return Spyder Rudner's watch.
Nazi Inmate #1: What?
Adrian Monk: The watch you stole from his cell. Uh, you can either give it to Spyder, or you can give it to me, or you can give it to Spyder.
Nazi Inmate #1: [hands over watch] You're gonna wish you were never born.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're right, but that still leaves us with the big question: Why would anybody bother to spike a condemned prisoner's last meal?
Adrian Monk: His last meal?
Warden Christie: He was scheduled to be executed at midnight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What do you think?
Adrian Monk: I think I'm out of here. I'm going home.
Sharona: Adrian!
Adrian Monk: I'm not sure it matters who killed this guy. He was gonna die in 45 minutes anyway. Sharona, I hate this place. I-I-I can't breathe in here. It's like... It's like a prison.
Sharona: It is a prison!