Adrian Monk Quote #71
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival
Board Member #1: Former Detective Monk, we've been reviewing your file, which includes a statement from your psychiatrist, Dr. Kroger. [Monk notices a crooked blind] Now, he says you're still obsessed with the murder of your wife to the point where you are emotionally paralyzed. Do you agree?
Adrian Monk: Well, she was my wife. You can understand. It's not just another case.
Board Member #2: How's that investigation going?
Adrian Monk: We're stalled. Frankly, it's a dead end.
Board Member #1: However, there is some good news. Kroger says that you've been showing some significant progress in some of your other problems.
Adrian Monk: Yes, I've been working hard. [A board member crumples a piece of paper and drops it by the bin]
Board Member #2: Since your suspension, you've been working as a private investigator. Is that right?
Adrian Monk: Well, it hasn't made me rich, but, you know, it's what I do.
Board Member #1: It's what you do. I like that. You feel that you're ready to do what you do for us again? [The female board member pours a drink and spills some water on the table] I mean, officially?
Adrian Monk: I think I'm ready. As you know, I've been doing some consulting work for the department.
Board Member #1: Yes, on eight occasions. It's very impressive.
Board Member #2: Although, isn't it true, Mr. Monk, that on more than one occasion your phobias have hindered the investigation? For example, last February your fear of heights allowed a suspect in San Anselmo to escape.
Adrian Monk: Well, no officer is without fear of some kind.
Board Member #2: That's true. We all accept that, as long those fears don't interfere with the performance of his duties.
Board Member #1: We'll be making a formal recommendation by the end of the week. We have to speak with two or three more people, including Captain Leland Stottlemeyer.
Adrian Monk: Captain Stottlemeyer.
Board Member #1: As your commanding officer for years, his testimony is crucial.
Board Member #2: Thank you for coming in. [Monk is distracted by the blind] Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Thank you. Thank you very much.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival’ Quotes
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Randy. Did I ever tell you about Monk's first day as a detective?
Lieutenant Disher: No, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Have a seat. He didn't have a partner, so I got stuck with him.
Lieutenant Disher: Was he, you know...
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. He was a little wound. He used to wipe off the windshield and rearrange the glove box before we'd roll. Anyway, we're the primaries on a body in a hotel in the Castro. A hooker had swallowed a bunch of promazine, you know, the big sleeping pills?
Lieutenant Disher: Horse tranquilizer, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I said, "Suicide." Every cop on the scene said, "Suicide." Medical examiner said, "Suicide." Monk walks in, says, "Murder. Where's the water?" The room had no water. Simple. Eight people in the room, but nobody saw that.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, I'm sure you would've seen it eventually, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't kid yourself. There is only one Adrian Monk.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Sharona: How'd you guess the jelly beans?
Adrian Monk: Sharona. Sharona, just give me the shoe.
Sharona: No. Not until you tell me.
Adrian Monk: Come on. This is not funny. I can't walk.
Sharona: How did you do it?
Adrian Monk: All right, I'll tell you. As we walked into the carnival, there was a pile of garbage.
Sharona: Pile of garbage?
Adrian Monk: Yes, and I noticed that they were throwing away some empty jelly bean boxes. They were labeled. Each one contained 1,400 jelly beans. There were six boxes, so that's 8,400 beans. You figure the kid who ran the game ate a couple of handfuls, so that's 8,385. Now, can I have my shoe, please?
Sharona: You remembered how many empty boxes you saw?
Adrian Monk: Yes. It's a blessing and curse. Please don't ever take my shoes again. It's not funny. It never will be funny. It won't be funny the next time you do it. Stop laughing.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Sharona: You look great.
Adrian Monk: I haven't worn it since Trudy's funeral.
Sharona: You sure you're not getting your hopes up?
Adrian Monk: Of course I am. That's what hopes are for.