Adrian Monk: [over intercom] Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want us to inform the school board about your little drinking problem.
Helen Hubbert: What? I mean, how-
Adrian Monk: How? How? We're the FBI, that's how!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for God's sakes, he can see the flask in your pocket.
Adrian Monk: And Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want the IRS to know about your second job. You have been moonlighting as a waitress, haven't you? Have you been reporting all of your tips?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's looking inside your purse. He can see your wad of singles. Hey! Hey, Agent FBI Man, huh? [drags shoe across the mirror] Here, what do you think of that?
Adrian Monk: Leland, you can put this woman away for the rest of her life. Linda Fusco will still be guilty.