Gloria Quote #423
Gloria: Maybe the details are in Jay's phone. But I hope not, because everything is very secret on there.
Jay: Don't know if you caught that subtle cue. She's mad at me.
Gloria: He did something very terrible that he doesn't want me to know about.
Jay: "Very terrible"?
Gloria: Until you tell me what it is, I'm gonna think the worst possible thing, like maybe you killed somebody. But you don't have the stomach for that, do you?
Quote from Gloria
Jay: What's all that about? You mad at me or something?
Gloria: I don't know. Did you do something to make me mad? Because then I am. But if you didn't, then I am not.
Jay: I didn't do anything.
Gloria: Then I am not mad.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I am mad. Last night, Jay had a sexy dream about some woman. And I know it wasn't about me, because he knows that I hate when men call me baby. And, yes, people are allowed their private thoughts, and I shouldn't be so angry, but I am Latin, so I get to feel whatever I want.
Quote from Jay
Jay: You have to stop being so suspicious, Claire. It's okay to trust people.
Gloria: Some people. Other people, who knows? You turn your back for one second, and they have a whole other family on the bad side of town.
Jay: You are my other family from the bad side of town.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!