Modern Family - Jay Quote #1422

Quote from Jay in SuperShowerBabyBowl

Jay: Well, he ain't here. Let's go. My famous chili has been simmering since 5:00 a.m.
Cameron: Y-You know, it is funny that you keep calling your chili "famous" when I find it a little... forgettable.
Jay: Cam, I'm a successful man. Captain of industry, made out with a Gabor sister, and if I can swing a few more board votes, we break ground on the Pritchett School of Closet Science at Ohio State. Not really sweating your take on my chili.
[aside to camera]
Jay: He'd hurt me deeply. I kept mentioning chili 'cause, you know, I was trying to jog his memory, 'cause we were supposed to make it together. I've waited my whole life for a special Super Bowl buddy, someone who understands it isn't just a game. It's a 15-hour, 4-meal, 2-shirt, 1-nap experience, and I thought Cam could be that buddy. Then I started worrying Cam might forget a date we set a year ago.
[flashback:]
Jay: [cellphone rings] He remembered. He remembered, Stella! Be cool. [answers phone, yawning] Hey, what's up? Oh, butt-dial. No, I see. Yeah, take it easy.

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‘SuperShowerBabyBowl’ Quotes

Quote from Dylan

Dylan: Thanks. And thanks for inviting me today.
Alex: Of course. You're the baby's father.
Dylan: Yeah, but it's a family thing, and I don't always feel like I belong. Sometimes they look at me like the proverbial bird in the punch bowl.
Alex: Almost.

Quote from Jay

Jay: ♪ Oh, Super Bowl ♪ ♪ The plays, the plays, they're calling ♪ ♪ From end to end ♪ ♪ And... ♪ [opens fridge] Oh!
Gloria: What happened? Do I call the nine and the one and the other one?
Jay: Why is my fridge filled with non-football-related foods on Super Bowl Sunday? There's no room for my Jerry Rice pudding.

Quote from Dylan

Luke: Hey, you guys want to buy a Super Bowl square? Only $3.75.
Dylan: Cool. Can I take three squares?
Haley: Yeah, I need something good today, too. We'll split five squares.
Phil: Uh... do you have quarters?
Dylan: Oh, I don't carry change since the last time I got struck by lightning.

Jay Quotes

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from The Bicycle Thief

Jay: [aside to camera] The key to being a good dad? Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don't. You got to hang in there. Because when all is said and done, 90% of being a dad is just showin' up.

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.