Jay Quote #1203
Jay: You guys want to take it outside? I need a couple minutes with El Rojo. [to Mitchell] Rojo means "red."
Mitchell: Yeah. I put things together quickly, unlike your workers, which is, uh, why I'm here. Um, Dad, if this is too much for you...
Jay: Now, wait a second. You're not here to fire me, are you?
Mitchell: What? No. Pfft! That's a strong word.
Jay: I've done enough axing in my time to recognize the look. Just do it.
Mitchell: See, now, I was... I was hoping this would be more of a conversation.
Jay: Never been much for confrontation. You weren't engaged to a woman six months in law school because you were good at dropping the hammer. Didn't you guys get a cat together?
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: I'm trying to get Wi-Fi so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in at the Halloween festival back home. You know, 25 years ago, I raised the largest Wichita Thumper, and the record still stands. I am so sorry. There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
Gloria: No, no, you just did fine.
Cameron: You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story. It was a cold, bitter night, when tap-tap-tap on the window. Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin, just out there trembling away.
Gloria: That is a great story.
Cameron: Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine. And for months, it just became a part of our household. People stepping over it to get into the kitchen, blocked half the TV. We thought "The Brady Bunch" was just about three lovely girls. [chuckles] Oh, but nobody complained. Sure, I won Grand Champion, you know, and the right to name the next tornado. But the thing I remember most are the sacrifices [voice breaking] my family made for just me. That's how we do family where I'm from.
Gloria: [inhales sharply] That's how we do family where I am from!
Quote from Kids These Days
Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!