Modern Family - Cameron Quote #898
Cameron: Stay with us, Gus. Oh, my god. Those cheekbones. You look like J.F.K. Jr. He looks like J.F.K. Jr.!
Quote from Cameron
Gloria: Cam. Why are you calling Jay?
Cameron: Am I? I-I thought I was calling the gardener. I forgot to leave the gate open, so I should probably go let him in. It'd be cruel to make Caesar climb another big fence.
Quote from Haley
Haley: Where the hell is Clutterworth?
Luke: On skid row giving our memories to hobos.
Haley: She threw out all my old Vogues. If I don't know the past, I'm doomed to re-wear it.
Quote from Luke
Claire: Have you gotten rid of anything today?
Phil: Yeah, all that.
Claire: That's one sock.
Phil: Oh, my goodness. What in the world were we thinking? [with sock puppet] Hey, gorgeous! Gimme a kiss!
Claire: I do not want Luke's dirty sock anywhere near my mouth.
Luke: It's seen worse.
Phil: No. Oh, no.
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: No. It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.