Modern Family - Cameron Quote #272
Cameron: Well, I had no idea. I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters. This production was a joke until I introduced these children to the musical theater greats Bernstein, Sondheim. Years from now, some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheimized them.
Mitchell: Ooh, I don't think that's a good way of saying... Okay.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Do you think that the kids are gonna be able to learn it by tonight? Maybe you should stick with something they already know.
Cameron: I knew this would happen! Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cameron: You do it all the time. And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams! I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I never do this with celebrities but are you by any chance the foxy mom in the new Horizon Realty ad?
Claire: Am I gonna regret doing that?
Phil: Did the Marlboro Man have any regrets?
Quote from Phil
Alex: Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy.
Phil: Sweet Lorna Doone. Nineteen missed calls? I wonder who's... [answering phone] Phil Dunphy. You saw the ad? Great. Do you know what you're looking for? The little one. I think I know which one you're talking about. Um, if you're interested, I also have an older model with a lot of character. What? I think the carpet matches the drapes. I haven't checked in a while. Both of them? Wow. Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one. Listen, um, why don't I call you back? We'll set up an appointment. It will give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.