Jay Quote #476
Quote from Jay in The Butler's Escape
Gloria: Tell me right now if you're having an affair, and we will find some time later for me to kill you.
Jay: No. I'm just trying to have one night away from your snoring.
Gloria: You came to a hotel to sleep?
Jay: I'm exhausted, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but you're huge and you're loud. It's like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh. And I didn't want to bring it up because I figured you'd get mad at me the way you got mad at Manny.
Gloria: I am not mad at you because you told me that I snore. I am mad at you because you didn't say anything.
Jay: 'Cause I didn't want to get yelled at.
Gloria: Well, too bad. When you're married to me, you're going to get yelled at many times. And you're tough enough to take it. That's what I love about our marriage. We can say whatever we want, but the next day, we're still there.
Jay: That's what I like about it, too.
Modern Family Quotes
‘The Butler's Escape’ Quotes
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Who drank all the coffee?
Jay: Oh, I, uh, I had quite a bit of that. You know, I haven't, um, been sleeping too well. There's actually a funny story about what's causing that.
Manny: Mom, I'm fully aware of the changes your body is going through, and that nasal stuffiness is very common during pregnancy, but we got a crisis in this house. You've been snoring. But I got you these nasal strips. In the commercial, the old man's angry red sound waves turn a gentle blue.
Gloria: So I'm like an old man?
Manny: No!
Gloria: Like a dog then? A pig? What is it, Manny? I'm an old man, a dog, or a pig?
Manny: Jay, help me out here. You've heard it.
Jay: I don't know what the boy's talking about. If this is a glimpse of teenage Manny, I don't love it. Have a little respect for your beautiful mother.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Is everybody OK?
Claire: I'm fine. Thanks for waiting.
Alex: What was that?
Phil: Water heater, gas line, the training's the same, people. Just stay low and move out!
Claire: Honey, Luke's gone.
Phil: Claire, spontaneous human combustion is very rare.
Claire: I don't think he exploded, Phil.
Luke: The rope ladder works. At least someone followed protocol.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: [aside to camera] Cam took a job teaching music at the local middle school. Yeah, his first day is tomorrow.
Cameron: I'm excited for me, but I'm probably more excited for the students because a great teacher is a gift.
Mitchell: Hasn't started yet.
Cameron: I have to tip my hat to my High School music teacher, a real force of nature who was also the defensive coordinator for the football team and supervised calf birthing for the animal husbandry club. Doris Olson. Great lady.
Mitchell: Lady.