Jay: Hey, Phil. You know how you're my go-to guy on stuff?
Phil: Huh. I suppose against all odds, we've become best friends.
Jay: Sure. So, apparently, some of the students are angry that I'm giving the commencement address.
Phil: Why?
Jay: Who knows why their sick minds do anything? Gotta say though, it feels good to be hating hippies again. Anyway, would you mind giving this place a sweep? See if you notice something suspicious.
Jay: Consider it done.