Haley: I can't do this.
Claire: Why are you so frustrated?
Haley: Because I've never had any obstacles to overcome.
Claire: Oh, honey, that's not true.
Haley: Really? Name one.
Claire: Well You're lactose-intolerant.
Haley: Oh, "Dear college, cheese makes me gassy. See you in September."
Claire: Sweetie, you're not really starting your essays "dear college," are you?